Vaughn Ashby
BRIGHTNESS FALLS
All books in the Aurora Wasteland Literary Universe are interconnected but are also stand alone novels, and can be read in any order you’d like.
Brightness Falls isn't just the name of the TV show that womanizing man-child Andrew Ware has been painstakingly creating for the last couple years, it's also his hometown. A town that he loves as much as he hates.
By request of no one, Andrew returns home to help his sister separate from her husband, only to become sidetracked by a beautiful woman. A few drinks and few compliments later the woman is dead, killed in a tragic oral sex accident. In which Andrew would have lost his own life if it weren’t for the dapperly dressed, antler-headed, human skeleton named Doug. Who loves Andrew’s work, but escaped The Other Side to warn Andrew of a self-proclaimed god with desires to return to Brightness Falls.
Wow, that is a lot to take in. That above paragraph is jammed packed with a lot of crap. Thou the oral sex accident sounds interesting, doesn't it? Let's take the whole thing down a notch. Let's try it again, please...
With the town’s annual festival, Brightfest, which commemorates the deadly day it's population collectively walked to the bottom of the lake, only days away, and the threat of an inadvertently bloodthirsty, self-proclaimed god returning to reenact the event, Andrew is sent scrambling to save his sister, friends, lovers, and the town he’s loathed in, before the god is able to complete his predestined experiment to bringing his wife back. If Andrew can get out of his own way to unravel the towns dark secrets, as well as his own, maybe he’ll come out of it with a new TV show idea. Oh and save the town.
Well fuck, that wasn't much better. Still, a lot going on in that paragraph too. Here let me try...
This is the story of a man who loves women, hates his home town, and has to go through a shit tone of shit for both of them. Oh and someone dies during oral sex, can't leave that out.
Boom nailed it! Best book description ever - Your Wife
It’s not that Andrew had an addiction to pussy, it’s just that he tended to find himself tongue deep in it just long enough to fuck up his life. He’d found today’s forgotten named vagina at a local adult beverage establishment. She’d dug his writing, he’d dug her tits, they were a match made in heaven. Or at least a match made for a couple of hours.
Her thighs gripped his head tight as she inched closer to reaching O-town. Normally he was way into any lady parts that were nice enough to invite him to sample a taste, but today his heart just wasn’t in it, he just wasn't bringing his A-game. Not that it seemed to matter to her. She ran her fingers through his hair and pulled him even closer, his breathing was going to be a concern soon. And right before his vaginal suffocation, she exploded. He could feel her muscles tighten, she screamed, “oh God”. “Oh God,” over and over, each time as if she was more surprised than the previous, each time like she was having a religious experience.
The feeling of a job well done ran through Andrew’s jaw.
“Oh God!” she screamed again, but different enough this time to throw him off his rhythm, he turned upwards to look at her. Damn, he did really dig her tits. They hung perfectly, from his vantage point they outlined her face perfectly. Though said face looked unexpectedly terrified. Not the expression he was going for. She screamed, this time no specific words came out. Just a general boner-killing shriek. Her face froze, her fingers pulled tight wrapped in his hair, him still inside of her.
Before he could get a word out, or even turn to look at what had gotten her attention, the woman’s head had jolted sideways, blood started running down those beautiful breasts onto him. Her head lay against her shoulder for a couple seconds, her neck obviously broken even to Andrew’s immature brain. There was a bump from behind the chair and her head rolled forward.
Andrew stumbled back, and away from the chair, slipping in her blood, his balls brushing against the wood deck. The moonlight didn’t provide much for illumination on what had just happened. The cold mountain wind caressed his naked man buns, as he struggled to understand just what had happened. Maybe going down on her outside on the deck wasn’t the best idea. Had it been his idea? It was possible that she had suggested it. He’d probably tell people it was hers.
Another push back and away from her body, the motion light flickered to life startling both Andrew and the bear who had interrupted his award-winning cunnilingus. They both looked at each other, almost embarrassed to be in this situation together. He considered running but how do you defend yourself from a bear when your balls are feeling the breeze of his breath.
The two mammals stood there looking at each other, eyes locked, neither moving. In a way, this felt a lot more intimate than what he’d just been doing. Not a chance he was going to blow this bear to get out of this. Finally, the bear roared and started towards him. Andrew tried to back away, only he managed to bump into another lawn chair, and stumble to the cold deck again. He wasn’t sure if it was the deck, the bear or the cold mountain wind, but his man berries were tight. Why was he always thinking of this junk and balls?
At least his obituary headline would be interesting to people. Which is more than most people get. “Killed by a bear while going down on a chick with a sweet rack, picture on page 12, of the bear, not the rack.”
The bear swung his gigantic paw towards Andrew, its claws ripped through the skin on his arm. His nerves screamed. He really wished he was drunker and higher for this. He noticed how much of the lady’s blood he had on himself, he was used to bodily fluids being on him, just not that kind of fluid. He tried to move back again, this time his hands slipped in the mixture of her blood and his. His brain seemed to be skipping. He gazed quickly at his arm. It wasn’t bad, it hurt worse than it looked.
The bear raised his paw again, and locked eyes with Andrew. It felt like his half-apology for what was about to happen. As if this poor creature felt like all this was out of his control. Andrew could feel his muscles tighten, his dong was still hard, a death boner? Wasn’t he supposed to have his life flash before his eyes? Sure it would be a slideshow almost entirely of the T & A he’d enjoyed on his rise to semi-fame, not a lot of substance to it, but still, he wanted it. It was all writing and fucking. His eyes closed, he turned his head and waited.
Then nothing.
Maybe time had slowed. Was his slide show kicking in?
He opened one eye, then the other. The bear lay at his feet, its eyes glassed over and dead. There appeared to be a massive hole in its chest. Andrew let out a sigh of relief and assumed someone used their right to bear arms to blast a hole in this bears chest. Though he hadn’t heard a gunshot.
Behind the bear's body stood a man, black suit, white collared shirt with a black tie, very dapper. No skin or muscles, just bones. And giant antlers like a ram, no more like a moose, rising out of his head like two big manhood replacements. Blood running down one of his arms, a portion of a heart in his hand, Andrew could only assume it belonged to the bear. “Hey, I’m Doug,” the man said as he stuck out his hand to help Andrew up. “You ok?”
Andrew apprehensively took the bony, bloodless hand, Doug pulled him up. The bones in his hands felt wet, and moist as if they were alive. “Yeah, I think so.”
“Good, I’m a huge fan.”
“Shit you know how to make a naked man with a close death experience boner feel all warm and shit. Thanks.” Andrew patted his chest, then where his pants pockets would be, no smokes or lighter, then he spotted them over on the table next to the woman’s body. Her head hung between her breasts, which still, by the way, looked amazing. He stepped over the bear, the blood, and her tits to grab his smokes. He motioned to Doug, “I don’t normally share smokes, especially with fans, well unless they’re blowing me, but since you’ve saved me, I’ll make an exception.”
“No, thanks. No lungs or lips.”
“Right,” Andrew said as he took a long slow drag. Damn, that was better.
“Sorry about your significant other over there.”
Andrew laughed, and smoke came out his nose. “She’s not my old lady, I actually just met her an hour or so ago.”
“I thought I read that you are married.”
Andrew shivered, remembering he was still naked, he cupped his balls with his non-cigarette holding hand. “I am, but my Soul Mate did not accompany me on this particular adventure, as she is currently very pissed at me, and has been enjoying the dong of another fellow for about a year now.”
“Oh,” Doug said as he examined the ladies body. “So…”
“We’ve got one of those open relationship things, you know the kind where we don’t see each other, and eventually marry other people. I don’t normally talk to fans or whatever you are about this kind of thing.”
“That makes sense, still sorry about… what was her name?”
“Shit, I can’t remember. I know she was a fan too.”
“Not much else important to know then is there.”
“Still I feel bad, with the whole not knowing her name thing. Plus, she was damn beautiful.”
They both stared at her body. The post-death motion light painting her, and her fatal wounds on a canvas of lust and horror.
Doug broke the silence, “What are you going to do with her?”
“Shit Doug, we just met but I don't think you should start eating my dead lovers just yet.”
“No no, I mean no one is going to believe you when you try to explain this,” Doug motioned to the woman and the bear. “I wouldn't mention myself either.”
“You may have a point there.”
“I guess you could bury her.”
“Right but what about the Wookiee over there? I’m not sure I’ve got the appropriately sized manhood to move him. Plus, this is her cubbyhole.”
“They look fine to me.”
“What her and the bear?”
“No your manhood.”
“Right, well thank you for the examination sir,” Andrew said squatting down next to the woman, his hand still covering his junk.
“Oh, I know. Do you have a gun?” Doug almost seemed excited at the idea.
Andrew scratched his ass cheek temporarily letting his manhood sway in the wind. “I don’t, but I can check if she does… did? She did have a belt buckle on when I unbuttoned her pants.” Andrew said as he took another slow pull on his smoke. “Plus, I’m pretty sure you sent that mother fucker to the bear underworld already. I’m not sure a second shot is required. You are holding part of his heart.”
“No no, just shoot him and then people will think you killed him.”
Andrew turned to look at the bear, the hole in its chest was large.
“You might have to shoot it a lot,” Doug said.
“That could work, thanks.”
“Anytime, I’m a huge fan.”
“Really, does my stuff play well where you’re from? Because it plays like shit here.”
“It really does.”
“Plays like shit?”
“No no.”
The motion light turned off, Andrew waved his hands at it. “Where’s that exactly?”
“Actually it’s kind of why I’m here, as much as I enjoyed saving your life.”
“Thanks again for that by the way.”
“Anytime, again big fan. Andrew Fucking Ware. So, there’s this God. You might know him.”
“I think I’d know if I knew a God.”
“Well, he’s not really a God, but he thinks he is. Anyways, he’s been here before, well kind of, and he’s planning on coming back, again, kind of. Just wanted to give you a heads up.”
Andrew finished his second smoke and pulled another. Again he offered it to Doug, he again declined. “Your kind of all over the place and vague on a lot of info there.”
“Sorry broheim, but I’ve got to get going,” Doug paused, unsure of how to ask the next part, “you… you want to come with me?”
“No thanks, I’ve got work to do here,” Andrew said as he again finished his smoke and flicked it into the grass. “You’re probably right. What’s this pseudo wannabe Gods name anyway?”
Doug sighed as if the mention of the name embarrassed him. “Doug God of the Other Darkness”
“Wait…. isn’t your name Doug?”
“Yep, we have a distinct lack of names where I'm from. Basically, everyone is named Doug. It’s unpleasant and leads to so much confusion.”
“Also, it's a shit name. No offense.”
“Oh, I should mention that there is a chance that our little encounter here will cause you to see things that aren’t there, well some of them might be, but. You might experience some bleeding over, oh and your brain, well might just make things up to help you cope with that.”
“What the fuck? I've gotta say those are some shitty side effects,” Andrew coughed.
Doug shrugged, wave and walked into the woods behind the house. The portion of the bear's heart still in his hand, a trail of its blood dripping behind him. Andrew looked at the pussy owner’s body, he really wished she had put a back fence in. He also really wished he knew her name.
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